Even if you saw it coming, parting ways with your significant other is traumatic.
It’s your heart that’s hurting but science proves your brain holds the key to healing and getting over a breakup according to researchers.
Instead of going in mental circles, write a list of all the things you were missing from the relationship. Think about the good and bad, and how it affected your moods and well-being. This does not have to be a daily ritual, but when you’re feeling lost in thought, it’s a great place to start.
If along the way you think of things you wish you’d done differently or better, it’s fine to jot those down, too. Not to harshly point out your flaws to yourself, but to set down an intention to live better. No one is perfect but everyone deserves peace. A few sessions over a few weeks can help make you feel more like your whole self.
Emotional triggers cause a powerful memory to pop into your mind and stick. It feels like a punch in the gut and can literally take your breath away.
Here’s why it’s so bad for you… the trigger throws your mind and emotions back to the roughest of the pain you felt when you first broke up. You’re basically right back at square one IN the trauma of the breakup over and over again. It’s psychologically proven!
Studies find people in long-term relationships can regulate each other’s hormone levels, internal clocks, even blood pressure, and metabolism. You literally need to get your own rhythm going again. Rekindle friendships that may have suffered along the way. Do the things you enjoy that he never wanted to do.
Don’t look for instant healing and immediate happiness. Rather pay attention to what makes you grateful. An attitude of gratitude reminds you there is happiness, beauty, and joy. It’s an incredible gift to give back to yourself.
Get creative! Sing, dance, write a poem, paint a picture or knit a scarf. Do all the things you wanted to try, or used to love. You don’t have to be an expert to reap the health benefits of plugging into your true self.
This might be the hardest tip on the list to put into practice, but it’s the most necessary. Ever hear the saying, “Out of sight, out of mind”? Well, it’s true! This means:
Block his socials and his number – without telling him about it. This is not a mean thing to do, it upholds your sanity. You’re kindly removing temptations from your fingertips which means you get better, faster.
Get rid of reminders of him. Things you bought when you were with him or cards, photos, and letters. If you can’t immediately throw the stuff in the nearest dumpster or re-gift it to someone, ask a friend to store a small box of the stuff in the back of their closet, likely never to be seen again, rightfully so.
Endorphins have a pain-killing effect on your body, reduce anxiety, and make you feel a sense of calm and optimism. Although your body consistently produces these helpful chemicals, exercise is the cheat code in producing even more.
As you can see, most of these science-backed break-up steps are all focused on YOU. Keeping the gaze centered on self-love, reflection, and healing is essential for putting yourself in alignment for future relationships and goals.
When matters get hard, rely on a caring group of friends or family who make you feel loved unconditionally and remind you how amazing you are. Practice ways to be healthy and feel happy. Find what you are grateful for right now, and be open to all the incredible experiences still to come.
When times get tough, remember these facts- it’s just science!
