As time goes by, our relationships change. This is not something we can avoid, nor should we.
Life experience, maturity, and many other factors influence who we are as people. Unfortunately, this often means that we can fall out of love with our partners with whom we thought we’d spend the rest of our lives.
Falling out of love doesn’t have to signal the end of the relationship. In fact, many successful couples have had some serious trouble throughout their courtship. Sometimes, it just takes a change of mindset.
In this article, we will outline 10 simple steps that you can use in order to fall back in love with your partner.
In a relationship, you and your partner are often thought of as one entity. Many times, this can make people feel as if they shouldn’t do things on their own or that EVERYTHING they do has to involve their partner as well.
The belief that you are only part of a duo, and not an individual, can often lead to feelings of resentment and anger towards your partner.
It’s vital that couples take part in solo activities so that both individuals can grow on their own. This time spent alone doesn’t need to be very long, and even an hour a day is perfect for creating some separation. During this alone time, each person can explore individual interests and hobbies.
Many relationships can start to feel “boring” after a long time together. There’s nothing wrong with having a predictable daily schedule. Try out some new couple activities now and then to spice things up!
Exercising together, going to a bookstore, or even trying something unique like taking a cooking class can be a great way to strengthen your relationship. Furthermore, these new activities provide ways to learn more about each other and create bonds that will bring you closer together in ways you never would have imagined.
Take some time to sit down and list some good couple activities that you can try out. You’ll probably learn even more about each other’s likes and dislikes through this brainstorming process!
A little bit of effort goes a long way towards keeping a relationship healthy. While it’s easy to get caught up in the busy weekly routines that life throws at us, we all must take time to plan some date nights. This is a good way to have fun and unwind from the stresses of jobs or other commitments to which you may have to devote much of your time.
A date night doesn’t necessarily mean that you book a horse-drawn carriage or order 12 dozen roses. A casual trip to the movies or even a special, homemade dinner can serve as an excellent way to have a fun, inexpensive date night.
In every relationship, there will be fights and arguments. This is an unavoidable reality.
However, disagreements don’t necessarily signal that there is anything wrong with your relationship. In fact, some theorists believe that we crave conflict as human beings. Fighting and arguing are parts of what it means to be a person.
But this does not mean that fights should ever turn physical or that certain boundaries should ever be crossed. There are many great ways to resolve conflicts and arguments through rational discussion.
For example, your partner may say something that really irritates you. Instead of firing back and saying something to irritate him, you could instead tell him that what he said made you feel sad. This approach can then open up a whole new dialogue and you’ll both gain a greater understanding of each other. At the same time, you’ll develop a method for civilly resolving conflicts.
1. Gift Giving
Some people feel most comfortable expressing their love through giving gifts. Now, this does not necessarily mean going out and buying some silly gift that a person will use once and then throw away. Rather, gift-givers love the process of choosing the perfect item that his or her partner will cherish and use for a long time.
2. Spending Quality Time
Taking the time to turn off cell phones and other distractions while you and your partner sit and enjoy each other’s company is the preferred love language of some people. This time may be spent reflecting on each other’s days or just chatting about something entirely unrelated.
3. Physical Contact
We all know people who are “huggers” or those who grab your arm when they’re laughing at a joke. These people thrive on “physical contact” and are easy to spot. Are you one of these peeps?
4. Affirmative Words
The use of encouraging and comforting words is another love language. These individuals can make anyone feel better with their ability to say just the right thing at just the right time.
5. Acts of Service
Identifying something that would make your partner happy and then doing so is the last of the love languages. These people are the ones who make brownies for their partners as a surprise treat during the week, or help alleviate a chore by going to the market when their significant other is feeling lazy.
Many people feel insecure in relationships. Luckily, with simple, gentle reminders that you are committed to each other, you can both experience a secure and fulfilling relationship.
Regardless of your religious inclination, this quote by Christian poet Alexander Pope should ring true:
To err is human. To forgive, divine.
It’s an undeniable reality of human nature: we all make mistakes. We may say the wrong thing at the wrong time, or do the wrong thing in the wrong place. Any of these mistakes could have serious consequences, but all of us need to learn how to forgive.
This is especially true when it comes to relationships. If your partner makes a mistake and is truly remorseful, try to find a way to forgive him. No matter who you are, you’ve made mistakes in your life and someone has had to forgive you. We all need to find a path to redemption at one point or another.
That being said, if you find yourself having to forgive your partner constantly, he may not be truly remorseful of his actions or words. Apologizing and forgiveness are two essential pieces of a successful relationship, but they must be practiced with sincerity.
In all likelihood, there are a few things about your partner that you wish you could change. Perhaps she has an annoying habit when she eats, or maybe he laughs too loudly when you’re out in public.
Whatever the “thing” is that you want to change about your partner, ask yourself if it’s really something that needs to be addressed. More than likely, these small, irritating mannerisms will be the things you miss the most if you end up cutting ties with your partner.
If you’re trying to encourage a healthy change in your partner, that’s an entirely different story. For example, if your husband has high blood pressure and refuses to do anything about it, it may be beneficial to encourage him to talk to a doctor. Alternatively, you may suggest he speak with a counselor to figure out why he doesn’t want to address this issue.
Similarly, if something your partner does keeps you from living a fulfilling life, you may need to talk to them about changing their habits. This is always a tricky line to walk, but it is important to have these difficult conversations if a relationship is to succeed in the long run.
You are more than just a husband or wife. You are an independent person with unique desires and interests.
This is not something to shy away from or diminish: our differences are what make us great!
If you’re finding that you deliberately try to change the things that make you unique as an individual in order to improve your relationship, you may need to have a serious discussion with your partner. Be sure to do some self-reflection on your relationship so that you can understand why you feel that your individuality is being limited. It may be because of your partner, yourself, or a combination.
We are many things in life. A partner or spouse is one important role we serve. But this should not be the sole, defining feature with which we identify.
So many of our miscommunications and arguments can often be traced back to poor listening skills. Many people, when having a conversation, are just waiting for their turn to speak. They are not listening to the other person and responding appropriately.
Active listening requires your full attention. You need to make eye contact, watch your partner’s body language, and provide positive responses (such as head nods or smiles) when appropriate.
Very often, partners will complain that they don’t know what the other person wants in a relationship; this lack of understanding may be due to poor listening skills.
Try one of these basic active listening strategies the next time you’re having a conversation with someone:
These are surefire ways to gain the respect of the person you’re talking to, as everyone loves to feel like they’re being listened to. And who wouldn’t!?
It may sound old-fashioned, but putting pen to paper (or fingers to keys, if you prefer to use a digital journal) is a great way to analyze your own feelings. In our daily lives, there are a lot of things that can distract us from our feelings and distort our perception of how we are truly processing our emotions. Television, social media, and cell phones are perhaps the biggest issues that distract us from focusing on our inner thoughts.
By implementing a regular journaling routine, you’ll be able to track your feelings over time. This forces you to examine your thoughts about your partner and other, related issues.
Journaling can be a good partner or individual activity, depending on the couple in question. Some people may want to be in solitude as they write down their most intimate thoughts, while others may want to think aloud with their partners. It’s entirely up to you to decide which way will work best.
If you’ve never kept a journal before, give it a try! Even just a few minutes a day can help you focus your energy and truly understand how you feel about certain things.
Relationships are certainly not easy. They take time, effort, and understanding from both parties. But with the right attitude and the willingness to learn, you can fall back in love with your partner even when the relationship seems like it can’t be salvaged.
If this helped you, let us know what date you and your partner went on to spice up your love life!
