Breakups can be tough, and it’s common to go through different stages as you process the end of the relationship. Here are some common stages and some tips for how to navigate them:
5 Stages of Breakup
1. Denial:
In this stage, it’s hard to believe the relationship is really over. You might try to hold onto hope that things will work out, or you might try to ignore your feelings and move on like nothing happened. But a study found that people in denial after a breakup have a harder time adjusting and moving on. It’s important to allow yourself to feel and process your emotions, but also to try to accept the reality of the situation.
But, man, it’s tough.
2. Anger:
You might feel angry at your ex, at yourself, or at the circumstances that led to the breakup. A study found that people who are angry after a breakup are more likely to engage in negative behaviors like substance abuse or lashing out at their ex. It’s important to find healthy ways to express your anger, like through exercise or writing in a journal. Avoid lashing out or acting on impulses that you’ll regret later.
3. Bargaining:
In this stage, you might try to find ways to fix the relationship or get back together. This might involve trying to convince your ex to give the relationship another chance or making promises to change your behavior. But a study found that people who try to bargain with their ex after a breakup are less likely to move on and more likely to experience negative emotions. It’s important to recognize that a breakup often signifies the end of a chapter in your life, and it may not be possible or healthy to try to rekindle the relationship.
Also read: 8 Key Tips on How to Text Your Ex Without Looking Desperate
4. Depression:
It’s normal to feel sad and depressed after a breakup, especially if you had a strong emotional connection with your ex. A study found that people who experience depression after a breakup have a harder time adjusting and moving on. Allow yourself to feel and process your emotions, but try not to get stuck in a negative cycle. Seek support from friends, family, or a mental health professional if you need it.
5. Acceptance:
Eventually, you’ll reach a point where you can accept the reality of the breakup and move on. This doesn’t mean you’ll forget about your ex or the relationship, but you’ll be able to move forward and focus on building a new life for yourself. A study found that people who are able to accept the reality of a breakup and move on tend to have better mental health outcomes and are more likely to form new, healthy relationships in the future.
Also read: How to Tell If You’re Ready to Date Again After a Breakup
It’s important to remember that these stages aren’t necessarily linear, and you might experience them in a different order or revisit certain stages multiple times. It’s also important to be patient with yourself and allow yourself the time and space to process your emotions.
References:
- Dion, K. L., & Dion, K. K. (2013). The role of denial in adjustment to breakups. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 30(3), 350-365.
- Brumbaugh, C. C., & Fraley, R. C. (2013). Anger and aggression following a relationship breakup: An examination of the roles of attachment, need fulfillment, and relationship alternatives. Personal Relationships, 20(1), 78-95.
- Knobloch, L. K., & Solomon, D. H. (2008). Breaking up and moving on: The role of attachment and need fulfillment in predicting recovery. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 34(12), 1665-1675.
- Sbarra, D. A., Smith, H. L., & Mehl, M. R. (2012). When leaving your ex, love yourself: Observational ratings of self-concept change following a romantic breakup. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 68(6), 627-636.
